Long Term Memory

Sometimes, these long term memories kill me softly. When I trust someone, it will be so much trust. And when the "someone" makes me not to believe, then I'll not believe anymore. And, well.. he did it. Some days ago, no.. I meant, some months ago when he said it, and I heard it, everything changed. There was no more "more". Some days ago after the first some days ago, everything lost. Just lost, and I could find it somewhere, because it has gone. And the thing which has gone, only reminded me of someone who already died. From that moment, I lived from the past (still wish him here). 

Wait!! Is it writing about love? Unfortunately, yes. I just, I just dont know what I should do and tell. Everything is in my heart, and may be it will be blowing up someday. But tonight, let me tell it in this posting first please ^^

Some weeks ago, I said "leave me alone" and he did it. But, all my families said that he was nice, kind, and patient what kind of person that I was looking for anyway. Then I couldnt answer that question. My heart just said "yah.. what kind of person.." then I called him again. Actually, I trust him, so much. Every little things about my family, he knew. Every little details about me, he realized. And every memories about my past, he heard. I trust him, I just trust him. 

But, some days ago, everything just lost anymore. He did three points that made me  not believe him anymore. What I suppose to do exactly? Forgive him, because all nice things that he has done, and forget the three points of mistakes that he made. Yeah.. I should do that. But..When I asked my heart, it said "say good bye and ask him to let you go"

I know, I realize, that I have done so many bad things to you. But.. the three points of mistakes that u have done, just remind me of my past again. When I sat in front of my Mom, I almost cried, because, I remembered every single words that u said. When I looked at the window, I almost cried again, because, I remembered every single words that u typed. When I lay down in my bed, I almost cried again and again, because, all of your mistakes only remind me of someone who already there, and made my heart said "If you didnt die, I would be your girl again for sure"

Forgive me please, I just promise to my heart not to post the writing like this anymore. May be, it will be bad for ur psychic, ur mental, or.. anything else on u, but.. I've somethin' to say which's really important. This is: 

Dont ever let someone who you love go somewhere without knowing about your truly feeling. Because, if he/she has gone and will never come back, you'll feel so sorry for long time.